Twisted Recipe #5 Pretzel Pizza!

Okay, so I don't know about anybody else, but I was for one, super excited about Little Caesar's new Pretzel Pizza...and then Horribly disappointed that it tasted like poo. 
Solution, make my own damn pretzel pizza! 

What you'll need:

• 1 1/2 cup of hot water
• 1 tbs of sugar
• 2 tsp of salt
• 1 packet of yeast 
• 4 1/2 cups of flower
• 10 cups of water
• 2/3 cups baking soda
• 3 egg yokes
• Another tbs of water
• Pizza toppings!

1. Combine in a mixing bowl:

• 1 1/2 cup of hot water
• 1 tbs of sugar
• 2 tsp of salt
• 1 packet of yeast 

Wait for it to get all foamy

• 4 1/2 cups of flower

And mix, kneed, and let sit for 55 minutes 

2. Make dough into whatever pizza/ calzone-type shape you want.

I suck at dough business, so what I got was an odd oblong of a whatever...

3. In a large pan (as wide as possible) bring to a boil, 10 cups of water and 2/3 cups baking soda.

4. Dip the dough into the water. 

I held mine out like a sheet and just slid it over the top of the water from end to end on both sides...it was not easy. When I do this again, I'll have to try something else maybe. I can't take a picture and dip funky shaped down into a pan at the same time, but look, it's wet now... 

5. Fill or top your pizza with whatever you like! Clella and I stuck with pepperoni, marinara, olives and mozzarella

6. Mix 3 egg yokes with 1 tbs of water and brush it over the exposed dough.

Because my funky shaped dough was too long for a backing sheet I flipped it over and made a calzone!...only just now realizing I could have simply made two pizzas... and of course my little daughter, Morrighan, had to have her own little pizza on the side.

7. You can add the traditional pretzel salt to the exposed dough. I added Italian seasonings and cheese... 

8. Bake for 12-14 minute at 450 degrees and done!

Mine looks funny but it tasted Amazeballs! Very filling, this pizza.

Happy Eating! 

Twisted Recipe #4 Pumpkin Balls!

I LOVE pumpkins! Have I said that before? I say it so often I feel it may be my motto. The Starks have, "Winter is Coming." The Lannisters have, " A Lannister Always Pays His Debts." And I have, "I love Pumpkins!" 

And not just their flavor (though, that may be more spice then vegetation...) I do so love the look of them. I've often thought of growing my own pumpkin patch...Sadly I have a rather black thumb in all things that grow from the ground. 

In any case, I charged myself with throwing a Halloween party this year. Part a celebration of candy and costumes and part a celebration of my best friends recent nuptials. 

Clella made cupcakes with bats and ghost, and I made potato salad, cutting olives into spiders (CREEPY) I also made Pumpkin Balls...Rice Crispy Treats that look like Pumpkins. 

Ingredients:

• 1 Stick of Butter
• 1 Bag of Marsh-mellows
• 1 Bag of Rice Crispy Cereal
• A TBS of Orange Food Coloring
• 1 Bag of Mini Reese's Cups 
• Cooking Oil

Rice Crispy Treats are ridiculously easy to make for how  num num they are. 

1.Melt butter in Pan with food coloring

2.Toss in all Marsh-mellows and stir until creamy 

3.Toss in all Rice Crispies and stir until all cereal is coated

4. Let it sit and cool down a small bit while you put on latex gloves and coat your hands with cooking oil. Then make very compact balls. 

See my balls

5. Then you will want to warm a plate in the microwave. Once it's good and hot set your Mini Reese's on it to melt their bottoms a bit. 

6. Put those Reese's on those balls and done! ...But, you'll want to let them chill for a good hour or they'll just fall apart as you eat them. 

See, so damn easy and so damn YUM!

And now, look at the centerpiece I made for the party. 

That's a Styrofoam Pumpkin, pained with glue and smothered in black glitter, and than violated with many feathers. Cute. huh?

Twisted Recipe #3 Big Bagel Burger

I had this weird dream the other day.  In it a man asked me to buy him a hamburger, so I did and it was expensive. $11 for a burger and fries! What? It looked huge and overflowing with lettuce. I was impressed, but I dropped it on my way back to the guy and suddenly I was at home remaking it for him. The dream stopped when the burger was done, and I woke up with a drive to make that burger a reality. So here's the burger I dreamed up.

In the dream the burger was huge, and filled with juicy meat, crisp lettuce, melted cheese and a sauce that I had to make in my dream, and then just had to make when I woke up.  I contacted my partner in crime, Clella, to see if she was up to the task. She totally was and on my way to fetch her, I stopped at the store to get everything I needed:

• Freshly baked bagels from our local grocer. I got Cheddar Bagels and Jalapeno Bagels.
• Organic, Grass Fed Beef Paddies
• A head of Lettuce. The pre-cut stuff is never as crisp.  
• Big juicy Tomatoes
• Eggs (pre-boiled...I'm a lazy cook.)
• And Sharp Cheddar Cheese

I seasoned the burgers with salt and pepper and broiled them until cooked through and through, but still juicy.

We cut the veggies.

We toasted the begals

We made the sauce...

The sauce would make or break this burger. In my dream I blended hard boiled eggs into a creamy spread.

There was Olive Oil, Salt and Pepper, but nothing else. Clella and I, however, decided to add some other ingredients as well. Paprika, Garlic Salt & Red Wine Vinegar. Nothing measured, just dashes and pinches, whatever felt right and tasted great.

Mom says we basically made our own Mayo...if so, it's much healthier and very tangy. Just as in my dream, the sauce went on the bottom bun of the bagel.

And then we assembled our masterpiece!

The Big Bagel Burger! Juicy, Crisp, Saucy and oh so messy to eat. Seriously, you'll want to have  wet wipes near by. ENJOY!

Twisted Recipe #2 Loaded Potato Bread

I LOVE POTATOES!  

Anyway you make them, I love them: Baked, Mashed, Fried, Totted and LOADED. I love them all...except scalloped. Scalloped potatoes are a concoction of pure evil. 

I have a similar passion for bread. There is no better smell than freshly baked bread. It was a cool October night when the thought came to me. My family and I were sitting in the living room and it struck me like lightning. Loaded Potato Bread. I'm no baker. I've made bread exactly twice in my whole life, one of them was even edible. In spite of my failings (which are many, and that's where Clella comes to the rescue) I simply had to eat this loaded potato/ potato bread. 

We start with a simple Potato Bread recipe. Makes two loafs of bread. Ingredients are: 

• 1 cup of mashed potatoes
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 cup of butter
• 1tsp salt
• 2 tbs active dry yeast
• 1/2 cup warm water
• 1/2 cup of sugar
• 5 cups of flower

1. Make Mashed Potatoes: pill,dice,boil, mash.
   
2. Stir in Sugar,Salt, Yeast, Eggs, Butter & Warm Water. 
   
3. Add flower until the mixture is doughy. 
4. Kneed dough on a flowered surface for a few minutes.Then set it in a greased  bowl for over an hour. RISE, my dough, RISE!  
   
   
   
   
5. While we wait lets gather up our other ingredients:
   

• Fresh Chives
• Plain Greek Yogurt or Sour Cream.
• Bacon
• Sharp Cheddar
• Garlic Salt

6. Chop those Chives, Dice that Bacon, Stir that Cream, Shred that Cheese...unless you're like me and you buy it pre-shredded. (Lazy lady)

7. When the dough is up to the task  (Get it? That's punny)  fold the ingredients into the dough and place it in a greased bread pan for another 40 minutes...or 20 minutes if you're like me and can't wait....

...I almost forgot the cheese!

That's better.

8. Bake at 375 Degrees for 40 minutes. Once it is done, butter the top and sprinkle on some Garlic Salt. Trust me, it is SO worth the time and energy. Literally the best bread I've ever eaten in my whole entire life!

ENJOY!

Twisted Recipe #1 Pumpkin Apple Pie

 Our goal at Twisted Recipes is to add a twist to traditional recipes. We will flex our creative muscles to bring you some great new ideas. And though we may blunder at times, luckily our first recipe idea turned out amazing!

 It's October, the season for Pumpkin everything. I LOVE pumpkin flavored things, from lattes to cookies, from cakes to bread, if it's pumpkin, I want it. But what about good old American Apple Pie? It never fails. Every Thanksgiving I'm left with a terrible choice. I've just finished my holiday dinner and I can't eat another bite! I have maybe room for a slice of pie, but which one? Pumpkin or Apple? I CAN'T DECIDE! Now you don't have to. Introducing Pumpkin Apple Pie.

Yes folks, you heard that right. Pumpkin Apple Pie. This recipe makes two pies, and it takes all the same ingredients as the traditional pies you know and love, which means you can change it any way you like to.

Apple Pie Filling: 1 Cup of Sugar, 5 Apples, 2 Teaspoons of Cinnamon, 1 Teaspoon of Nutmeg

Skin, slice and boil the apples until tender. Drain water. Then stir in sugar and spices.

Pumpkin Pie Filling: Can of Pumpkin, 2 Eggs, 1 Can of Condensed Milk.Combine all those things and mix well...

     

Pie Crust: 3 Cups of Flower, 1/5 Teaspoon of Salt, 2 Teaspoon of Sugar, 1 Stick of Soft Butter, 5 Tablespoons of Ice Water.

Mix everything but the water. Kneading the dough with your hands or a dough mixer. Then drizzle the water. Cut the dough into two pieces, and flatten them for the pie pan. 

(Because I am exceedingly lazy, I used a pre-made crust...I know, I know, I bring shame to my family)

***Mother's correction, Butter should be cold NOT warm***

Put the apple filling on the bottom:

Put the pumpkin filling on top, making sure it's smooth:

Bake at 425 degrees for ONLY 15 MINUTES. Then turn the temp down to 350 for an additional 50 minutes. When it's done, let it cool, then ENJOY! It looks like a normal Pumpkin Pie, but there's a surprise in there. ^_^