Twisted Recipe #7 Dat Salsa

I LOVE SALSA!

I am a beast when it comes to salsa. A very picky beast. That's why I've never made my own. It would destroy me as a person if I made  bad salsa; too much onion, too much cilantro, not enough green chilies...the horror! It's like lumpy ketchup! All I taste is tomatoes and fire!

But since I am hoping to open my own cafe, I am creating a menu filled with my own recipes, and salsa is on the menu. I did my research, I studied ten of the best salsa recipes out there. I combined the best and most simple of recipes, for when it comes to food I have but one rule; keep it simple, stupid...

Here's what you'll need for Dat Salsa:

1 TBS Lime Juice
1 TBS Cilantro
1 TBS Garlic
1/4 CUP Onions
1 TSP Salt
2 CANS Diced Tomato
1 SMALL CAN Green chilies
1/2 TBS Cumin
1 Diced Jalapeno

Ehh...ignore that huge bag of sugar...I tried it in the first batch and didn't much enjoy the sweetness...but I was far far too lazy to take another photo. Also the bowl of fruit is equally inconsequential...

Now, in the future I will totally use freshly chopped tomatoes, garlic, onions and green chilies...however, I am super lazy so I bought all that stuff pre-cut and packaged for my convenience, yo! 

So open that business up and toss it in that bowl! POW!

Next step is to blend it; any food processor or bullet type thing will do...

Mmmm, I know that looks nums, but you don't want to eat it yet. Those flavors have to set for a while, so chill it in the fridge, and in an hour or so you'll have some yummy salsa for the dipping!

Twisted Recipe #6 Egg-ish Sandwich

Now that I've been a vegetarian for a year I've come up some pretty tasty recipes to get me and my family by without the meats. This one, however, my mom gave me...I just made it better.

I've actually never been a great fan of egg salad. I always found it too bland, with great big chunks of awkward egg white just sitting like a lump of disappointment in my mouth. And don't get me started on the yoke; all kids of chalky unpleasantness. But, when my mom told me she had the perfect vegan egg salad recipe, I had to know it, I had to try it... What she made me was far better than any egg salad, yet if she didn't tell me beforehand that it wasn't egg, I would have assumed it was and that she was just simply the best egg salad maker ever.

So here is what you will need:

1 cup of Mayo or Vegenaise
1 stalk of Diced Celery
1 Diced Pickle
1/4 cup of Diced Green Onions
2 tablespoons of Diced Garlic
1 Rectangle of FIRM or EXTRA FIRM Tofu
2 tablespoons of Turmeric
1 tablespoons of Salt  {NOTE: mom uses black salt, but I have no idea where to by this...Amazon?}
2 tablespoons of Mustard

Dice everything very small:

Drain the Tofu and then mix all your ingredients in a bowl with your hands. 

Nothing does it quite so well as your hands....your clean hands...LOL

Now, mommy took this lovely stuff and simply placed it between two slices of wheat bread, cut it in quarters and called it all good. I couldn't stop there. This egg-ish salad is so flavorful: with savory onion and earthy turmeric, the bite of the pickle and the zing of the mustard...It needed something more than plain jane wheat bread... 

Sourdough bread (I used English Muffins here) Toasted, buttered and add melted Tillamook Cheddar (probably would have been over the top delicious if I had Extra Sharp Cheddar)

So good my mouth is watering as I write this. I'm remembering all that glorious exquisite marriement of this great symphony of flavors! Am I over selling it? ^_^ Nah...